Dating your job!

 

"Sit tight, here comes the story"

Lila was sitting at her desk, a mix of emotions swirling inside her as she tackles another day at work. She loves what she does, yet there are moments when she questions everything. This roller coaster of feelings is all too familiar to many of us, highlighting the intricate dance between loving and hating our jobs.

After hanging up from a call with a coworker, where they brainstormed ways to develop their teams, she feels a rush of love for her work, whispering to herself: “I feel like I'm on cloud nine! The creativity flowed effortlessly in that meeting, and I believe we're going to make a real impact”.

As she rushes to her next meeting to discuss compensation, she feels tensions within the leadership team due to the anticipated lack of raises. Lila listens to her colleagues' frustrations. She thinks to herself: “'I just can't deal with this constant pressure on cost-cutting; this financial burden suppresses our creativity and drains the joy out of our work”.

Despite the challenges, Lila finds comfort in her hobbies outside of work. Venting to her husband after a long day, she expresses: "Taking time for myself, whether it's hiking on weekends, meeting friends or watching our kids play, all of this helps me to recharge and gain perspective”.

As Lila prepares dinner, she looks back on her career journey and acknowledges the valuable lessons learned: "The highs and lows have shaped me professionally and personally. It's taught me resilience, the importance of seeking support from colleagues, and staying true to my passions”. 

Let’s talk about this

The love-hate relationship with a job is quite complex, isn’t it? Sometimes I feel that working at any job I’ve had in my life is like being on a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days, I’m head over heels in love with what I do, feeling fulfilled and passionate. Other days, it’s like a battle against frustration and disappointment. It’s a constant dance between loving the challenges and hating the obstacles, but somehow, that mix keeps me engaged.

I was chatting with a friend who is divorced and has started dating again. She was telling me how challenging it is to date nowadays. Hearing her challenges made me think: isn’t dating similar to finding a good job and being happy with it?

First there is the initial attraction. You fall in love with the company’s culture, purpose, and its people. You see leaders that inspire you. Everything is beautiful, nice, fun, excellent. Secondly, you move into the passionate phases, when you see the opportunities ahead of you and how your skills, experience and achievements fit perfectly on coming up with innovative solutions.
That ignites your passion and keeps you motivated.

That’s until the frustrating moments arrive, like in dating, you find out she/he is a bit too stubborn. At work you realize that there are mundane tasks, difficult coworkers or managers, or a lack of growth and development. There are days that you think about partying ways, but since there are so many things you love about her/him or your work, it is a balancing act. 

You come up with  strategies to navigate the ups and downs of your job (and your relationship). How do you maintain motivation during tough times? Same as you do when you are going through a tough time in your relationship, you may seek support from colleagues, pursue hobbies outside of work, or focus on long-term career goals.

There is no perfect recipe, but I’ve learned that keeping a healthy balance on this love-hate relationship with my job has contributed to my personal and professional growth. My perspectives and priorities changed over time. Before I let my job define who I was, but now, my job is what I DO, not WHO I AM.

It is important to have people we trust around us so you can seek advice on how we can find balance, stay motivated, and make meaningful changes if needed.

I find it useful to accept that a love-hate relationship with a job is normal and can be a valuable learning experience. It can encourage us to reflect on our own feelings toward our work and take proactive steps to cultivate a fulfilling career journey. In the symphony of emotions that define our relationship with work, embracing the love-hate dynamic can lead to profound growth and fulfillment. As we navigate the peaks and valleys, let’s remember that it's not just about the destination but also the journey that shapes us into resilient, thriving professionals.

To end my comparison between a love-hate relationship with work and dating, I’d like to  highlight the common themes such as initial attraction, ups and downs, investment and commitment, navigating differences, growth and reflection, and finding balance. Both relationships require effort, communication, and self-awareness to thrive and contribute to personal growth and fulfillment

What excellence looks like:

• We maintain a healthy work-life balance. We know when to step back, recharge, and engage in activities outside of work that bring joy and fulfillment, which ultimately enhances our overall productivity and well-being.

• We develop self-awareness. We understand our strengths, weaknesses, and triggers that affect our motivation or satisfaction.

​​Food for Thought:

• "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life” - Confucius

Call for action:

• Don't be afraid to acknowledge both the love and frustration in your job. Find ways to nurture your passion, seek mentorship or new challenges, and remember that it's okay to reassess your goals

• Excelling in a love-hate work dynamic often requires resilience. It means bouncing back from setbacks, staying focused during tough times, and not letting temporary frustrations derail long-term goals - have you thought about how you have dealt with setbacks lately? 

Resources:

• The 6 types of working genius - this book from Patrick Lencione is practical and easy to read. Lencioni discusses a better way to understand your gifts, frustrations, and team dynamics. The book highlights how and why, on a single day, you can go from loving your job to hating it