4,000 Weeks: Making the Most of Our Time!

Sit tight, here comes the story:

Every holiday season, I feel the pressure to be great. As a working mom, my forever-long to-do list grows even longer. Every year, I find myself overwhelmed by managing year-end reports at work, last-minute work trips, end-of-year doctor’s appointments (because I can’t go another year without my mammogram), baking cookies for my children’s school parties, and hunting down the “perfect” gifts. I usually rely on caffeine and willpower to get things done. 

I always envision a picture-perfect holiday season, filled with laughter, joy, and beautifully wrapped presents under a beautiful tree. Yet, as I rush from one task to the next, I usually can’t shake the feeling of irritation creeping in.

Two years ago, I had an epiphany while doing some last-minute online shopping on Amazon. My daughter, Lara, kept calling me to come see something.

“Mom, can you come here? I want to show you something I made.”

“Not now, sweetie,” I replied sharply, scanning through thousands of options for “teacher’s gift.” “I still need to find a gift for your teachers.”

Lara’s face fell. I’m sure I’ve given my kids countless reasons to feel disappointed without noticing, but at that moment, I did.

Later that evening, I sat alone in the living room, surrounded by a sea of wrapping paper and ribbons. The kids were in bed, and my husband was finishing the dishes. I felt hollow and exhausted.

“Why does it feel like I’m failing at this?” I muttered to myself.

My husband peeked into the room. “Failing at what?”

“The holidays. Everything. I wanted it to be magical, but all I feel is stress and tiredness.”

He smiled softly and handed me a mug of tea. “Maybe the magic isn’t in what we do but in how we’re together. When was the last time we just… sat with the kids?”

I couldn’t remember.

The next morning, I found Lara coloring at the kitchen table. I sat down beside her, no phone, no distractions. “What were you trying to show me yesterday?”

Lara’s eyes lit up as she pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. It was a drawing of our family sitting on the couch, surrounded by twinkling lights.

“You don’t need to buy my teacher anything,” Lara said. “We could just make her something, like brigadeiro (a Brazilian sweet). She loves sweets.”

That day, I learned a lesson I had been too busy to see: the best gift wasn’t something I could buy or wrap. It was the gift of my presence, the joy of being together in the moment. As I watched my kids giggle, I thought: “This is the perfect holiday”.

Let’s talk about this:

This holiday season, I worked hard to keep a promise I made to myself two years ago: to be more present. It hasn’t been easy, somehow, as the years go by, my to-do lists seem to multiply. But I’m proud to say that my prioritization skills have grown alongside them. I’ve learned to intentionally focus on a few key priorities and let go of the rest.

As the year comes to a close, I no longer let the busyness of the season consume me or swallow me whole. Instead, I’ve embraced the idea that we can only handle so much, and that’s okay. Working within those limits has helped me prioritize what truly matters.

The turning point for me came two years ago, sparked by a conversation with my husband. He shared an epiphany that led to my own: the need to be more present. Curious about what prompted his insight, we ended up having a long, meaningful talk. That conversation with my husband not only helped me refocus but also led me to explore a book he had been reading called Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, a book that explores the finite nature of time. Its central message is simple yet profound: life is brief, and we must rethink how we approach the time we have.

Reading this book truly put things into perspective for me. If someone lives to be 90 years old, they will have experienced just over 4,000 weeks. Four thousand weeks doesn’t sound like much, especially considering how quickly our weeks seem to fly by. 

In today’s culture of constant productivity, we feel pressured to make the most of every moment. This mindset often leads to stress, dissatisfaction, and the feeling that we’re never doing enough. Instead of trying to do everything all the time or getting stuck planning for an imagined future, we need to realize that time isn’t unlimited.

Burkeman’s focus on accepting the limits of time made me rethink my never-ending to-do lists. Instead of trying to fit more into my days, I started asking myself: What truly deserves my attention? By accepting time’s limits and focusing on what really matters, we can prioritize meaningful activities and relationships, making space for a richer, more fulfilling life.

In the hustle of everyday life, how often do we overlook the beauty of the present moment? How often do we let the busyness of our days rob us of opportunities to connect with the people who matter most?

The other day, I heard someone say that the best proof of love you can give is your full attention. That really hit home for me. It was a powerful reminder to be intentional about being present. I want the people I interact with to feel heard and loved. I don’t want distractions to leave me with regret. Instead, I want to walk away from every conversation knowing I was fully engaged and present.

Four Thousand Weeks serves as a wake-up call, reminding us of the finite nature of time and the importance of living it well.

Let’s rediscover the joy of simple, shared moments. Let’s listen without distractions, be fully present for others, and savor the small, everyday experiences.

This holiday break, with no work and no school, we decided to embrace a staycation. We’ve spent our days at home, enjoying simple activities like neighborhood walks, bike rides, playing board games, and cooking together.

It’s been incredible to take a step back and truly observe how much our children have grown. Our conversations have ranged from insightful to hilarious, and their unique personalities and sharp minds leave my husband and me in awe. The laughs we’ve shared and the memories we’ve created during these quiet days have brought a sense of fulfillment, joy, connection, and purpose that no gift or elaborate plan ever could.

We can’t buy time, but we can choose how we spend it. This season, I’ve chosen to be present and intentional. What about you?

Head, Heart and Hands Strategy: 

In this section, we will present practical examples organized into three strategies: Head Strategy 🤯 (gaining deeper knowledge about a specific topic), Heart Strategy 💗

(fostering empathy and aligning on shared goals to create win-win outcomes), and Hands Strategy 🤲(taking actionable steps to enhance someone else’s experience or improve our own).

🤯Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman 

 

💗 Do not lose precious time chasing perfection when presence is what truly matters. Practice empathy by considering what truly matters to the people around you. Is it the perfectly wrapped gift, or the time spent baking cookies together?”

🤲Start small: take a device-free walk, have an uninterrupted conversation, or spend a few minutes journaling about your feelings. Find one area of life where you can slow down and focus on presence.