Permission to Pause

 

Permission to Pause

Sit tight, here comes the story:

Lila did it all: work meetings, lunchbox notes, late-night emails. But one night, staring blankly at her daughter’s math homework, she realized: she couldn’t think straight anymore, she was out of steam. Even the fastest train needs a stop. So she paused, and everything changed.

Lila didn’t need to go faster. She needed to pause.

Let’s talk about this:

You’re probably reading this post on your smartphone right now. Have you noticed that when your phone is running too many apps at once, it powers through for a while, but eventually the battery drains faster than it can recharge?

That’s how I feel most of the time (and probably how you feel too). Emails, Slack messages, video calls, school drop-offs, dinner plans, emotional check-ins with family and friends, the list goes on and on. If we don’t pause to plug in and reset, we’ll crash. Not because we’re not strong, but because even the smartest phones need time to recharge to function at their best.

That’s where vacation comes in. Vacation is when we reclaim joy in our lives. It clears the clutter in our heads and our hearts. When we feel rested, peaceful, and focused, we become fully present. We gain awareness of what really matters here and now. We feel more capable of taking the right actions.

Some of us don’t have the privilege of taking vacations often, but we can still be intentional about creating moments to pause and rest throughout our days and weeks. I recently heard a beautiful expression, “Little Saturdays” on the  The Greg McKeon during a conversation with Courtney Carver, the author of the book Gentle: rest more, stress less and live the life you actually want..

What is “Little Saturday”?

In Norway and other parts of Scandinavia, Lille Lørdag is the cultural tradition of treating Wednesday like a mini-weekend. Historically, it’s been seen as a natural midweek break, a chance to pause, relax, and enjoy a bit of leisure before diving into the second half of the week.

It’s permission to slow down or do something fun. It’s a way to break the monotony and boost well-being.

For me, embracing a “Little Saturday” mindset might mean making one midweek night off-limits for chores, ordering takeout instead of cooking, or doing something that fills me up, like reading a book or going to the movies with my kids (while eating loads of popcorn and M&Ms - guilt-free!).

It’s our chance, right in the middle of a hectic week, to let go of productivity pressure and choose joy, even if just for a couple of hours.

It might seem like a contradiction, but we actually achieve more when we are at ease. Constant work doesn’t necessarily equate to worth or success. That’s a hard truth I learned after years and years of pushing through, especially when I physically and emotionally couldn’t anymore.

I’ve been very privileged in my life to take vacations in beautiful places and experience amazing things around the world. But I’m not sure if it’s the stage of life I’m in, or maybe the years of therapy finally paying off, but the best vacation I’ve ever taken happened just a few weeks ago in the simplest, most rustic place: Torre de Pedra, where my parents have a countryside home.

Every summer, my husband and I take the kids to Brazil to visit family and friends. It’s our way of keeping them connected to our culture, but selfishly, it’s also our way of recharging. Being immersed in our language, values, and traditions brings us a deep sense of belonging and reconnection to our roots.

But this year felt different. We still got all of that, but more. Our trips to Brazil are usually frantic, logistically speaking. We have family spread across multiple states, and we often squeeze in some work while we’re there, which adds to the chaos.

This year, we intentionally planned more time in one place. Less packing and unpacking with three kids = less stress. And it paid off. We had an amazing, slow, present time with family and friends.

I spent a weekend with my college friends celebrating 25 years of friendship. It was a joy and well-being boost I didn’t know I needed: laughing, crying, joking, reminiscing, and teasing each other. It was such a powerful reminder of who I was and a celebration of who I’ve become.

I read quietly in the shade of a tree, swaying in a hammock. 

We surprised my dad for his 70th birthday by bringing in his beloved brother. 

I took long nature walks with my husband, dreaming about our future while being grateful for the present. 

I saw my mom and aunt bossing everyone around, and smiled. I was reminded that I come from a line of strong, hard-working, opinionated women.

I felt the sand under my feet and listened to my kids’ laughter. And in the middle of all that, I found moments to just sit with myself and observe. That was rest. Odd to say, since we did so much, but it was the kind of rest that clears your mind and heart.

And the result? More energy. More motivation. More focus. More creativity. More “aha” moments.

Of course, like anyone who comes back from vacation, I returned to a full inbox and an endless to-do list. But this time, my mind felt open. I felt emotionally reset. For the first time in my life, I was okay going back to work. I felt grateful to have a job to return to, especially knowing so many don’t.

That trip gave me a perspective I wasn’t expecting. It helped me reassess my values, challenge some assumptions, and realign my actions. I came back excited to venture into the new, with a fresh mindset, one where rest isn’t something to earn, but something we need to embrace. Let’s no longer feel guilty for resting or doing nothing. This will help us show up better. Feel lighter. And focus more clearly on what matters most.

So why am I sharing all this? Why should you care about my vacation?

Because I want to invite you to reflect. Even if you can’t take a full vacation right now, what would it look like to embrace the “Little Saturdays” mindset? Can you find small pauses during your week to recharge?

We’re the ones who must give ourselves permission to rest.

As women, and especially as immigrants, like many of you following BRAVA, rest doesn’t come easy. Not because we don’t need it, but because we carry the weight of cultural expectations, invisible labor, and the pressure to constantly prove our worth.

Guilt, lack of support, and the belief that rest equals weakness make it harder to pause. But redefining rest as an act of self-respect, not indulgence, is key. It sustains our well-being and helps us show up more fully, for others, and for ourselves.

So… ready to block your calendar and do something just for you?

Head, Heart and Hands Strategy - A Practical Framework for giving you permission to pause

🤯Head Strategy - Awareness & Understanding

Key question: What do I need to understand to feel okay with pausing?

• Rest isn’t a reward, it’s a requirement.
• Pushing through constantly leads to burnout, not success.
• Breaks boost clarity, energy, and long-term performance.

💗Heart Strategy - Emotion & Intention

Key question: What matters most to me right now?

• Tune into your emotions - are you feeling depleted or disconnected?
• Honor your need for peace, joy, or reconnection.
• Give yourself grace. Rest doesn’t mean you’re lazy - it means you care.

🤲Hands Strategy - Action & Practice

Key question: What small action can I take today to rest?

• Block 30 minutes for yourself - guilt-free.
• Say “no” or “not now” to something non-essential.
• Try a “Little Saturday” midweek pause: no chores, just joy.