Sit tight, here comes the story:
Every Sunday, Lila does laundry. Loads and loads. Just when she finishes folding the last towel, her 10-year-old runs in with muddy socks. Then her husband remembers the gym bag. The dog drags in a blanket. And there it is, the overflowing basket, back again.
One Sunday, standing over a mountain of mismatched socks, Lila sighed, “Why do I even bother?”
But then she laughed, because in that moment, she realized: Laundry never ends. Just like her to-do lists at work never ends. Life is full of never-ending tasks, like doing dishes, cleaning up toys, answering emails, and juggling kids’ routines.
But her realization went a bit further: folding wasn’t just about clothes. It was about love, care, and showing up, again and again. So she put up her ‘90s playlist, called in the kids and her husband, and turned folding into a dance party. Same task, different mindset. The basket didn’t change, but she did.
These repetitive chores can feel overwhelming, but they also offer a chance to grow. When we approach them with intention and presence, they stop being just tasks and become small, meaningful moments that shape who we are becoming.
Let’s talk about this:
This week, I want to talk about how our endless weekly to-do lists swallow us and push us away from having the time to pause and reflect, not just on what we’re doing, but on who we’re becoming.
The other week, someone in a work environment asked me, “What does success look like to you?”
I caught myself speechless for a moment. For a few seconds, a movie played in my mind with all the things I’ve accomplished in life, including recent project wins and such. And in that second, I realized that all those day-to-day tasks have indeed taken me somewhere: a great job, an amazing team, lots of impact.
But that’s not what I answered. I said:
“For me, success is being able to thrive, not just survive.”
All those endless tasks I’ve done, day in and day out, brought me to where I am, but in that quick reflection, I realized I’d been in survival mode for most of that time.
By survival mode, I mean I get through the day, but the sense of fulfillment doesn’t come as often as I’d like. The days I truly feel like I’m thriving are usually the ones when I’m present, with my family, my friends, my coworkers. When I feel rested. When I exercise. When I find time to fill my own love tank so I can spread love to those around me.
All this to say: what fulfills me is becoming a better person.
Like being empathetic with someone who needed to be heard.
Or being more present with my kids when they needed me.
Or realizing how resilient I was after getting through something really hard.
While “to-do” lists help us stay productive, they often center on external accomplishments. Shifting toward “to-be” lists, focusing on who we want to become, like being empathetic, present, resilient, or generous, invites us to lead with intention in every role we play.
The best part? We can still check off our to-be list while doing our to-do list. Like Lila sharing a good moment with her family while searching for mismatched socks. When we give new meaning to everyday tasks, we create more opportunities to thrive, not just survive.
We’re ready to create “to-be” lists when we start building self-awareness. It’s the foundation for becoming better professionals, parents, daughters, siblings, and human beings.
A self-aware professional might focus on being a better listener, not just completing tasks.
A self-aware parent might aim to be more patient, not just plan activities.
This small but powerful shift grounds us in our values and helps us show up with more authenticity and purpose, creating deeper connections and more meaningful impact in both our personal and professional lives.
And this shift can actually be fun, it’s like designing your own superpower playlist!
I invite you to try these playful ideas:
To-Be Vision Board: Instead of pasting pictures of material goals, fill a board with words like bold, joyful, calm, confident, or curious. Add symbols that represent those qualities. Hang it somewhere you’ll see often.
Post-it Game: Write down 2–3 “to-be” qualities and ask yourself each morning: How can I be more [patient/kind/confident] today?
To-Be Jar: Write different qualities on slips of paper and pick one each morning. Your mission: embody that trait during your day, at work, with your kids, or even while texting a friend.
And don’t forget to celebrate your “Being” Wins: At day’s end, don’t just list what you did. Reflect on who you were. “I was a calm problem solver.” “I was a supportive spouse.” Celebrate those as real wins.
Here’s is another invitation for you, something to think about:
What was your favorite toy as a child? How did it reflect the person you were becoming? Does it still represent the person you want to be?
Sometimes, reconnecting with those happy childhood memories can help us let go of behaviors that no longer serve us today.
Infusing fun into this journey makes it more joyful and sustainable. And it reminds us: becoming a better version of ourselves can feel good along the way.
Our to-do lists will always be there. We have goals, we have work to deliver. But if we shift our mindset to also focus on our “to-be” lists, we begin to bring meaning to our journey.
Let’s stop waiting for external rewards and start prioritizing internal growth.
Let’s recognize that simply trying to be a better person is already a powerful, worthy pursuit.
Let’s find purpose in the present, and check off those “to-be” boxes with intention.
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