New Year Resolutions: is 2025 the Carryover Year for you?

Sit tight, here comes the story:

It was December 31st, and Lila sat at her desk, staring at the piece of paper that had mocked her all year: her New Year’s resolutions list. Boldly titled "2024: The Year of Transformation," it was filled with aspirations: lose 20 pounds, learn French (to use during her dream vacation with her husband), declutter the house, run a marathon, and finally start the business she’d been dreaming of.

She sighed, the familiar sting of disappointment lingering in her chest. She had started January with enthusiasm, diligently tracking her workouts and practicing French phrases on Duolingo. But by March, life had interrupted. Work deadlines had piled up, her kids needed her more than ever, and before she knew it, her resolutions had taken a backseat. Now, as the year ended, she felt like she had failed again.

Her phone buzzed with a message from her friend Julia: "Excited for tonight? New year, new us!"

Lila typed back: "We'll see... still carrying my old me into the new year."

That evening, while preparing for a quiet New Year’s Eve at home, Lila came across a dusty journal she had started years ago. Flipping through the pages, she found an entry from another December 31st, written in her optimistic handwriting: "This year will be different. I’ll finally achieve everything I set out to do."

The same resolutions appeared, year after year, like a broken record. She realized something: the problem wasn’t the resolutions, it was the pressure to change everything all at once, the belief that her worth was tied to ticking off boxes. She closed the journal and took a deep breath.

When midnight came, Lila hugged her family, shared a toast with her husband, and whispered her own toast to the universe: "To carrying over what matters and letting go of what doesn’t."

In the following days, she wrote down just one goal: to approach each day with kindness toward herself. Instead of tracking pounds lost, she celebrated moments she felt strong. Instead of perfecting French, she practiced gratitude for the beauty in trying. When her house remained a chaos, she focused on the warmth it held, not the mess.

For the first time, she felt lighter, not because of a number on a scale, but because she had let go of the weight of perfection. It wasn’t about achieving everything, it was about living meaningfully, one imperfect step at a time.

Let’s talk about this:

A lot of us make New Year’s resolutions because it feels like a chance for a fresh start. It’s often about wanting to grow, reflect, and hold onto hope. Resolutions give us a sense of control and direction, helping us turn our dreams into action.

Just like Lila, we often end the year carrying some level of frustration because many of our resolutions remain unfulfilled or fail to make it to the forefront of our daily activities. The idea of becoming a “better version” of ourselves is deeply motivating, yet the disappointment of not reaching that goal can be equally discouraging, borderline depressing. Sound familiar? We all end up carrying around some frustration because, well, those big resolutions often get pushed aside. 

The whole “fresh start” vibe of the new year gives us this clean slate feeling, right? It’s like a mental reset button, making us feel like we can take on the world. So, Why can’t we sustain the motivation to follow through? What are we doing wrong? I believe the issue lies in two key areas:

• We get so caught up in the goals that we forget about the mindset we need to get there. By setting overly ambitious goals without addressing the underlying mindset, we set ourselves up for underachievement.

• We tend to let life’s circumstances dictate our path instead of taking control and intentionally steering our lives in the direction we want.

True progress requires shifting our mindset and embracing personal agency, not just setting ambitious goals. 

Shifting our mindset

[We tend to put all our focus on the goals, but the real secret is getting the right mindset first].

For years, I set the goal of losing 3 to 10 pounds, but I never achieved it. Before kids, I just wanted to shed a few pounds. After three pregnancies, my ambitions grew as the numbers on the scale did, but I still didn’t reach the results I wanted. It wasn’t until COVID hit, when I found myself caring for a newborn and two other kids, that I began to see the real benefits of exercise. I wasn’t losing pounds as quickly as I hoped, but something surprising happened: I felt good. After an online barre blend class or a 45-minute walk pushing my baby’s stroller, I felt energized, less stressed, and genuinely happier.

That’s when it hit me, exercise wasn’t just about weight loss; it was transformative for my mental health.

Since then, exercise has become a non-negotiable part of my routine. On days when I can’t make it to the gym, a simple walk in the neighborhood helps me feel grounded and lighter. Shifting my mindset to focus on the mental health benefits of exercising was the key to making it a daily habit. Waiting for the scale to drop had been stressful, but the immediate “feel-good” boost after exercising was enough to keep me going…and wanting more.

Now, my resolution about being "healthy" isn’t tied to losing a specific amount of weight. I exercise for my mental health. If I lose a few pounds along the way, that’s a bonus, but it’s no longer the end goal. What truly matters to me is living a healthy, balanced life. I take pride in knowing my body is strong, healthy, and has carried three beautiful pregnancies.

Ultimately, what I’ve learned is that it’s the mindset, not the specific goal, that makes the difference. Focusing on how we feel and the positive impact of certain habits, like the energy from a workout or the joy of movement, can be far more rewarding than chasing a number or a perfect image. Goals are important, but true fulfillment comes from appreciating the journey and celebrating small, daily wins. Shifting our mindset to embrace the process, rather than fixating on the destination, is what makes life both meaningful and joyful.

Personal Agency

[We often let life happen to us instead of taking charge and directing our own path].

When I heard Lila say in the story, "I am carrying my old self into the new year," it gave me a sense of defeat. It felt as though she were an observer of her life, rather than the one in control of it. Life throws us curve balls all the time, and often we can’t change our circumstances. However, we can change how we react to those circumstances.

Let’s say, for example, that your goal this year was to be more present with your family. You’ve been longing for quality time, planning to make it a priority. But then, life threw you a curveball (a good one): you got promoted at work. Your responsibilities increased, and you found yourself fully immersed in the new challenges. Not only are the demands of your job growing, but you’re actually thriving in it. You love the recognition, the new opportunities to influence, and the excitement of seeing your hard work pay off.

It’s easy to feel torn between these two worlds: the one where you want to be there for your family and the one where you’re now in the spotlight at work, finally achieving what you’ve worked so hard for. Life often doesn’t unfold the way we expect. Circumstances shift, and sometimes, we can’t change them. But what we can control is our reaction to those circumstances.

Instead of getting frustrated or overwhelmed by the tug-of-war between your personal and professional life, you have the power to reassess your priorities and find a new balance. Maybe being present with your family means being intentional about quality time, even if it's shorter, like turning off your phone during dinner or scheduling family outings that you truly commit to. Or perhaps it’s about communicating your need for some time away from work, ensuring that your personal life doesn’t become overshadowed by your ambitions.

Unfortunately, it is much more common to encounter curveballs in life that aren’t positive, like a medical diagnosis for a loved one or yourself, layoffs, sickness in the family, divorce, or breakups, to name a few. But the framework remains the same: you can’t change the circumstances, but you can decide how to deal with them, what to learn from them, and how to use those experiences. The facts might not change, but your attitude toward them can make all the difference in your well-being.

Ultimately, while we can’t always control the challenges life throws at us, we can always control how we navigate them and how we react. By adjusting our mindset and finding ways to integrate what matters most, we give ourselves the flexibility to thrive in all areas of our lives.

I once read Oprah Winfrey’s wise words about feeling overwhelmed by our emotions, as if the feelings are driving the bus, and all we can do is buckle up. But she reminds us that we can take the wheel. As she says, “We must feel the feel but then take the wheel.”

As we step into the first week of the year, let’s harness this fresh energy to reflect on the past year and set goals that are both realistic and meaningful. Let’s aim for an approach that feels joyful, not burdensome. With a growth mindset, we can embrace flexibility, learn from setbacks, and celebrate the small wins along the way.

This year, let’s commit to shifting our focus from chasing endless achievements to truly enjoying the process. And most importantly, let’s celebrate progress, not perfection. Like Lila, who found joy in the small steps, such as the simple act of “trying” to learn French, we too can rediscover happiness in the journey. Let’s appreciate the now and stop postponing our happiness for some distant future accomplishment.

At the end of the day, the fulfillment we look for when making those resolutions will come not  just from crossing items off our list but from engaging meaningfully with the journey.

Head, Heart and Hands Strategy: 

In this section, we will present practical examples organized into three strategies: Head Strategy 🤯 (gaining deeper knowledge about a specific topic), Heart Strategy 💗

(fostering empathy and aligning on shared goals to create win-win outcomes), and Hands Strategy 🤲(taking actionable steps to enhance someone else’s experience or improve our own).

🤯Build the life you want by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey

 

💗I challenge you to add this resolution to your list: "This year, I will prioritize self-compassion by acknowledging my efforts instead of focusing solely on outcomes. I will give myself permission to rest when needed, celebrate small wins, and treat myself with the same kindness and patience I offer others”.

🤲As you make your resolutions list, ask yourself these three questions: 1. "Why do I want this goal?", 2. "How will it improve my life or bring joy?" and 3. "Am I prepared to embrace the process, not just the outcome?"