Beyond the Black Curtain: Building a People-First Leadership Approach

Sit tight, here comes the story:

Lila, a manager who values self-awareness and resilience, found herself losing sight of her principles under upper-management pressure and project delays. Stress led her to overlook her team’s feedback, failing to practice open-mindedness and empathy. In her personal life, friends noticed her becoming dismissive and less supportive.

One morning, Lila was rushing to meet a project deadline, stressed by pressure from her executives. Her team voiced concerns about their workload, but she brushed them off, prioritizing results over their well-being. Later that day, her friend invited her for coffee, sensing she needed a break, but she dismissed the offer, saying she “didn’t have time for small talk.”

Over weeks, her relationships at work and home felt pressured. Her drive for success had sidelined her principles. The lack of alignment with her principles ultimately strained her relationships and hurt her credibility, leading to burnout and damaged trust in both spheres. Realizing the fallout, she understood that staying true to her values and principles was essential for both personal and professional harmony.

Let’s talk about this:

I was invited to speak to a group of women in Customer Experience, and I’m both honored and excited. As usual, I asked what they’d like to focus on, aiming to make my talk meaningful. Their interest? Leadership in CX and Women Empowerment, encouraging women to elevate the industry. The only challenge? How to fit everything I’d love to share into just an hour!

I believe female leaders bring a powerful blend of empathy, resilience, and collaboration to the CX industry. Our people-centered focus aligns naturally with CX goals. We tend to prioritize understanding customer needs, fostering trust, and cultivating inclusive teams. By blending emotional intelligence with strategic vision, we help create environments where team members feel valued, which translates into genuine, impactful customer interactions.

That said, I wish I’d had a roadmap when I started. Reflecting on my journey, I realized how much trial and error shaped my leadership in CX. By sharing the guiding principles I’ve developed, I hope to offer a thoughtful foundation for future leaders. 

As seen in Lila’s story, even when we have clarity about our values and principles, it’s easy to lose focus, become overwhelmed, and start operating on autopilot when the pressure is high, stress levels peak, or the future feels uncertain. Reflecting on this, I realized that such challenges often lead to valuable moments of growth and self-discovery in leadership. That’s why I prioritize the guiding principles below. They keep me grounded, shape my day-to-day approach, and offer a foundation for those just beginning their CX journey.

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Principle #1: Hit Pause and Replay (Self-reflection and feedback)

Reflecting on my actions is like replaying the best moments (what I got right) and the “goof” moments (where I could have done better). My goal is to cultivate a teachable spirit, and I make it a habit to reflect on my thoughts and actions to build self-awareness. I often ask myself: How did others react to what I did? What am I proud of? Where can I seek more understanding? 

Growth takes humility, and even with the best self-awareness, we all have blind spots that only others can help us see. That’s when feedback plays a role. 

At Netflix, I learned to give and receive feedback. Feedback was called a “gift”, a concept I initially resisted until it reshaped my communication skills and self-awareness. For example,  when I first heard I came off as aggressive while persuading others, I was hurt; aggression isn’t part of my values. But with curiosity and humility, I learned that my Brazilian way of engaging, interrupting out of enthusiasm, was being misinterpreted. I came to appreciate this feedback; it helped me understand that, in American communication, taking turns is key and interruptions can seem rude. 

Another key part of my approach is considering new perspectives in every decision I make. It’s easy to lose perspective as you grow in your career, so I remind myself to reduce any sense of power and increase empathy. When I visit a contact center, for example, I shadow agents, chat with them about their challenges, and sometimes take chats (which always makes me nervous!). Putting myself in their shoes keeps me grounded and reminds me of the little things I can do to support them. I also invite non-customer experience teams (engineers, marketing and partnerships folks, content, payments, etc) to visit the call centers. They usually find sitting with agents a humbling experience, one that keeps our leadership real and people-focused. 

Principle #2: People-oriented / Results-driven

As someone who values empathy in every interaction, I naturally bring that quality to my leadership. Helping others brings me fulfillment, even in difficult situations. For example, when I had to announce the closure of an entire operation, knowing some would lose their jobs, I aimed to deliver the message with genuine empathy and context. Though the news was met with tears, many thanked me for softening the blow with compassion. This experience reminded me that empathy in tough moments reinforces trust and resilience, for both myself and my team.

This empathy is paired with a strong sense of responsibility and a desire for accomplishment. With the same passion I have for making people better, happier, and more fulfilled, I strive to achieve outcomes that respect both individual needs and organizational goals.

I take joy in developing strategies, clearly communicating our objectives, and leading my team in execution. I feel privileged to work in a customer-centric industry; it makes my job easier. When I share a vision centered on the customer, getting buy-in from my team feels effortless because we all share a passion for enhancing the customer experience.

My vision for CX is to elevate our role from mere support to a vital frontline function, gaining unique daily insights into customer experiences. If we shift our mindset to truly advocate for customer experience and translate these insights into actionable changes for our product and engineering teams, we can significantly enhance the experience for our customers, our employees, and ultimately, our business.

Lastly, I sometimes face internal conflict when the business results I’m expected to drive clash with my values. For instance, there have been times I’ve had to oversee major layoffs or close entire contact centers for cost-saving reasons. While these were the right choices for the business, repeating them took an emotional toll on me. My focus on people’s well-being and development doesn’t limit my ability to make tough decisions, but it does mean that, eventually, I need to consider whether staying aligns with my principles.

Principle #3: Stay focused under pressure (Resilience under pressure)

In uncertain and stressful times, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, which can lead to burnout. I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about how many times I fall but how often I stand back up. While I can’t control the facts, I can change my response. I cultivate resilience with the same intentionality I apply to determination, allowing me to adapt to challenges and keep going. Staying calm and focused is tough, but when I do, I see the best outcomes.

I’ve always been someone who goes after what I want. My parents might even say to the extreme, like when I left a career that I had worked so hard to build to work as a babysitter in the U.S. just to learn English.

I also fight for what I believe. When I started at Netflix, long before inclusion became a core value, I was that "global mindset" advocate, challenging the status quo. While my colleagues thought the U.S. approach fit all markets, I pushed to make things relatable, like ensuring our Brazilian and Phillipinians agents didn’t have to relate to examples they’d never experienced, like a “snow day.”

Of course, I’ve made my share of mistakes. Early on, I pushed hard to include more global representation in our offsite meetings, as they’d previously been U.S. focused. So, during our first one with international partners, I led an activity and, naively, used “JAP” instead of “JPN” to refer to our Japanese partners, unaware of its offensive history from WWII. Thankfully, a Japanese colleague kindly corrected me. Embracing these moments with a growth mindset lets me learn, build resilience, and move forward without letting mistakes hold me back. As Reed Hastings used to say “we suck today compared to what we will be tomorrow!”.

Finally, it’s essential to stay flexible when we feel stuck. Under pressure, whether from a major decision like changing jobs or a smaller one like deciding who should lead a special project, it’s important to avoid “paralysis by analysis.” This is when you get caught up in endless pros and cons lists or data comparisons without making a move. Instead, keeping an open mind to new opportunities and perspectives is key. Listening attentively to those around me not only deepens my understanding and connection with others but often brings clarity to the problem.

When I was a teenager, I was determined to go to medical school, and that determination became an obsession. This fixation delayed my entrance to university because medical school was one of the most competitive programs in Brazil. I was stuck in a loop: studying relentlessly, reapplying, and not allowing myself to consider other paths. There was one small detail: I fainted at the sight of blood. How could I ever have become a doctor? After two years of trying for medical school, I finally opened my mind to other things I enjoyed, and a whole new world opened up.

Years later, I found myself in a similar loop when I had to pivot careers after deciding to move to the U.S. permanently. At that time, I faced what I called a “black curtain”, a feeling of being completely stuck with no clear path forward. Adjusting to a new country, language, and career seemed too much. Over time, I learned to make that curtain transparent by embracing resilience, seeking guidance, and focusing on one step at a time. Now, when it shows up, I remember that I’ve navigated tough transitions before, and I rely on my values and adaptability to keep moving forward.

I still take full responsibility for my decisions and commitments, which helps me build self-respect and reliability. I’m committed to these three guiding principles, yet I’m open to adapting. When I apply these principles consistently, they genuinely make me a more effective leader. But there are situations that call for flexibility and for defining new principles that help me stay grounded, especially when new challenges arise and I’m unsure how to approach them.

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I hope these principles offer a foundation to help you explore your own guiding values and move toward greater self-awareness, resilience, and a people-focused approach that balances results with genuine connection. Embracing these values can empower you to build stronger, more adaptable teams that make a meaningful impact.

As a leader, when I embody self-awareness and open kindness, recognizing both my strengths and limitations, I find it easier to foster trust and empathy with my team, my peers, and within the organization as a whole. With determination and resilience, we can overcome challenges and inspire others by demonstrating persistence and adaptability.

Balancing a people-focused approach with result-driven goals creates a compassionate, effective leadership style that uplifts both team and performance. After all, what is a business without its people? By incorporating these principles, we can approach leadership challenges with greater balance, positivity, and nourishment for both our hearts and minds.