Strength in Sisterhood: Why Women Should Compete to Collaborate

Sit tight, here comes the story:

Lila, as a sales executive, had been to countless conferences over the past few years. She’d perfected the art of small talk, forced herself to smile, and collect business cards she rarely followed up on. But something about these events had been bothering her, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

At the latest conference, surrounded by a sea of mostly men in sharp suits, Lila found herself at yet another networking mixer. She prepared herself for the same routine: introductions, smiles, asking what brought people to the event. It wasn’t that she didn’t like people, but the energy of these things drained her. The real issue, however, was something deeper, something she'd finally begun to see but hadn’t yet named.

The women were few and far between, as unfortunately this is still the reality with women occupying only around 25% of senior management roles across industries. Lila noticed one standing by the buffet, another chatting politely with a group of men, and one sitting alone, scrolling through her phone. There was no sisterhood, no eye contact exchanged, no shared bond. The realization hit Lila like a weight dropping into her chest.

She thought back to the other conferences she’d attended. It had always been the same, the women were often distant, standoffish, as if they were competing for an invisible prize, rather than supporting each other. Meanwhile, networking with men always seemed to flow easier. They were more casual and relaxed. The women? They were guarded, as if every other woman was a potential threat.

And then it clicked. The reason she dreaded these events wasn’t just because of the small talk or the pressure to make connections, it was because there was no sense of collaboration among the women. Lila felt alone, like she was on her own island, instead of part of a network of strong, supportive women who could lift each other up.

That night, as she lay in bed reflecting on the conference, she vowed to change her approach. Next time, instead of looking for leads or clients, she’d seek out the other women, strike up conversations, and offer genuine support. If they weren’t going to build a sisterhood for each other, who would? It was time to compete not in isolation, but in growth, collaboration, and paving the way for each other.

Sisterhood, she realized, wasn’t just nice to have, it was essential. And she was going to start making it happen.

Let’s talk about this:

I have been fortunate throughout my career to work primarily with women who are open to connecting and supporting one another. However, this is not the reality I hear from colleagues and friends in different industries, especially in tech and healthcare. I’ve always held the expectation that women would connect more easily, given our minority status, yet I often find it easier to network with men outside my workplace, just like the experience Lila described above. This contrast highlights the issue of limited sisterhood and opens the discussion about why this needs to change, particularly in male-dominated spaces.

The bottom line this week is: Sisterhood doesn't encourage competition, except when we're competing to collaborate better, grow together, and help each other develop.

Recently, I attended a networking dinner with a group of 12 (8 men and 4 women). One woman, let’s call her Sarah, dominated the conversation from the outset. Instead of creating space for others to share their insights, she spent most of the time discussing her personal achievements, her recent promotions, awards, and initiatives. While her accomplishments were impressive, it became evident that she was monopolizing the discussion rather than fostering a dialogue.

The other women and I hesitated to interrupt. I attempted to engage by asking questions aimed at inviting others to share their perspectives, but Sarah continued to focus solely on her narrative. This dynamic suppressed what could have been a more collaborative and supportive conversation, missing a valuable opportunity to uplift and learn from one another.

This experience underscores the importance of creating inclusive conversations where all voices are welcomed. Effective leadership in sisterhood means amplifying others, not just ourselves. Sarah's dominance in the conversation reinforces the competition that can arise among women in male-dominated environments, where we may feel pressured to assert our achievements to validate our worth. This pressure can unintentionally shift our focus to self-promotion rather than collective support.

If Sarah had embraced a collaborative mindset, celebrating not only her achievements but also those of her female colleagues, she could have fostered a more inclusive atmosphere. True collaboration, where women uplift each other, benefits everyone by stopping the belief that there’s only room for one or two at the top. It leads to shared success and paves the way for more women to thrive, demonstrating that supporting each other's growth is far more powerful than competing for limited opportunities.

When women support and encourage one another in the workplace, we feel less isolated and less inclined to see each other as competition. This solidarity creates a stronger network, opening more doors collectively.

Reflecting on the dinner, I wish we had come together, exchanged contacts, and supported one another's ideas. If we had embraced solidarity that night, we could have driven a more significant impact in our industry. 

I genuinely enjoy discussing the achievements of my female colleagues, coworkers, and remarkable friends. It is essential for women to recognize and amplify each other’s strengths. By paving the way for others, we ensure that as one woman succeeds, others can follow. This is about creating pathways for future generations of women, ensuring the ladder isn’t pulled up behind those who make it.

I am intentional about empowering every woman I encounter and boosting their ideas. This is my humble effort to cultivate a culture where amplifying women's strengths becomes the norm. Perhaps this approach stems from my upbringing; in my family, everyone celebrates each other's achievements. I often say that my good friends are those who have supported me in my times of need, while my great friends celebrate my successes with the same intensity they offer during my struggles.

In the workplace, I’ve been blessed with many women I admire and from whom I learn valuable lessons. I take pride in talking about them and the value they add to my life and career. I hope to do the same for them.

The only type of competition that should exist within sisterhood is centered around who can excel at collaborating, fostering growth, and creating opportunities for others’ development. By actively working to strengthen sisterhood, we can help create an inclusive environment where every woman has the opportunity to thrive and succeed.

Take the first step:

• Let’s commit to strengthening sisterhood in our workplaces! Start by reaching out to a female colleague and offering your support, whether it's through mentorship, collaboration on a project, or simply having a conversation. Share your experiences and amplify the voices of other women around you. Together, we can create a workplace culture that celebrates collaboration, empowerment, and shared success.

• I share my journey, along with the stories of dozens of women, through BRAVA blog posts, and I hope our experiences inspire others to seek or offer support. If you have a story that you believe could benefit others, please feel free to reach out to me directly at lucianecarrillo@gmail.com. Your story can be shared through our character, Lila, while keeping your identity confidential, if you prefer.