Sit tight, here comes the story:
Lila and Elena (Lila’s peer) led their teams through a major project. Elena, known for her charisma, often took the stage at company meetings, showcasing her team’s accomplishments. She thrived in the spotlight, and while her confidence was motivating, her team sometimes felt overshadowed, their contributions often going unnoticed.
Lila, on the other hand, was the quiet type. She guided her team from behind, giving them full credit in meetings and acting as a lighthouse, offering direction and support, but never seeking the glory. Her team appreciated the trust and autonomy, growing under her leadership.
As the project deadline approached, both teams delivered impressive results. At the celebration event, Elena stood in front of the company, highlighting each team member’s hard work. For the first time, her team saw that she wasn’t just seeking attention but was using the spotlight to amplify their achievements. Her visibility brought the team well-deserved recognition, opening doors for future opportunities.
In the end, both leadership styles were valuable. Lila’s lighthouse approach fostered growth and collaboration, while Elena’s spotlight shone a light on her team’s success, helping them get the recognition they deserved. The balance between guiding others and stepping into the spotlight at the right moment showed that both styles have their place when used thoughtfully.
Let’s talk about this:
Leading a team is a big responsibility, and for those who enjoy being in the spotlight, leadership often brings opportunities to shine. But here’s the question: are you using those moments to boost only yourself, or are you highlighting your team’s successes too?
Leaders who thrive in the spotlight may focus on personal achievements, seeking recognition for their own wins. While this can inspire others in the short term, it often overshadows the team’s efforts, potentially creating an environment that feels more competitive than collaborative. But the same skill for visibility can be a powerful tool to uplift others. By promoting your team’s ideas and accomplishments, you can lead by shining the light on everyone.
For example, Elena’s approach shows how the spotlight isn’t solely negative; it can be impactful when used wisely. Self-promotion, especially for women, is complex. Societal norms often push us to play down our achievements, emphasizing collaboration over personal success. Many women choose to credit their teams or mentors, aiming to share the praise. There’s nothing wrong with self-promotion, it’s about finding balance and using those moments to uplift everyone involved.
I've been in a lot of meetings with potential providers lately, and it’s a sea of mostly white men. Confidence, even bordering on arrogance, seems to be the default, while humility is in short supply. Personally, I’ve never been big on self-promotion. My approach has always been to “walk the talk” and let my work and actions speak for themselves. I like to rely on word-of-mouth and strong relationships to help spread my ideas and expand my influence. I find that building a good reputation through connections feels more genuine than listing achievements. But that’s just me! I completely respect that everyone has their own style, and I’m all for seeing more women shine in their own way across all fields.
In my years in tech, I’ve seen plenty of well-known leaders give speeches, and more than once, I felt let down, seeing them more as “showmen” or “showwomen” than inspiring guides. But some leaders have made a real, lasting impression on me.
I was fortunate to work at Netflix in the early streaming days, where I often heard Reed Hastings speak, leaving me inspired for months afterward. For me, he exemplifies the kind of leader who’s like a lighthouse, someone who guides, challenges, and supports from behind the scenes. Like a lighthouse, he sheds light on the path forward, helping his team navigate challenges and find success. Hastings was all about empowering others, championing a culture of “freedom and responsibility,” where autonomy and accountability went hand-in-hand. Netflix’s “no brilliant jerks” and “dream team” principles encouraged shared success and collaboration, not individual recognition.
I’m grateful for my time in that culture of growth and shared achievement, which deeply enriched both my personal and professional life.
In essence, a spotlight leader seeks attention and can also serve as a spokesperson for their team, while a lighthouse leader aims to illuminate the path for others, guiding them toward shared success. It’s less about being at the center of attention and more about shedding light so others can find their way.
Let’s talk about some specific situations that leaders being in the spotlight can be beneficial:
Leaders can energize their teams by stepping into the spotlight to share their vision and enthusiasm, fostering unity and purpose. I've found that taking on this role has challenged and energized me. It’s not easy to clearly communicate a vision and inspire others, but the results are rewarding.
“Walking the talk” by setting a positive example - a leader who leads by example in the spotlight can show others how to embody the values of the organization, encouraging integrity, hard work, and informed and fair decision-making. This type of visibility is essential for building a strong company culture.
When leaders take the spotlight to celebrate successes, especially when they give credit to their team, it validates hard work and inspires others. I think we can all agree that when you have a public recognition from a leader, your morale and motivation is boosted.
In crisis moments, a leader stepping into the spotlight reassures the team that someone is in charge and prepared. I’ve faced high-stress situations, like major layoffs, where I had to be visible to bring transparency, instill confidence, and calm my team’s anxieties.
Leaders represent their company when dealing with external stakeholders like investors or partners. I find myself stepping into this role when negotiating with new vendors or building partnerships. It’s a chance to advocate for my company, highlight key initiatives, and strengthen these relationships.
When it comes to being in the spotlight, one positive stands out for me: leading change. I love innovation. Stepping into the spotlight to show the need for change can ease transitions by demonstrating my commitment and setting the tone for the new direction. For instance, I once had to be in the spotlight when we were going through a major reorganization, and that allowed me to clearly communicate our new direction and ease the transition for my team. I focused on sharing the vision that the Leadership team had set and its alignment with our goals. By visibly demonstrating my commitment, I reassured my team, reducing uncertainties and making the transition smoother.
In all of these situations, being in the spotlight serves a purpose beyond self-promotion, it enhances leadership effectiveness by strengthening trust, communication, and inspiration.
Now, let’s talk about the benefits of being a "lighthouse" leader. In a broader metaphorical sense, a lighthouse represents guidance, support, and a source of direction through darkness or uncertainty. A Lighthouse leader for me is one that guides, supports, and empowers others without seeking personal attention. She ensures that the team stays on course, develops, and succeeds by doing the following:
Offering clear guidance, helping their team understand long-term goals and navigate challenges. They focus on illuminating the path, ensuring everyone knows the direction to move forward.
Empowering their team members to make decisions and take ownership of their work, instead of micromanaging. They foster trust and autonomy, giving people the confidence to excel.
Being a source of stability, just as a lighthouse stands firm during storms, a lighthouse leader remains calm and composed during crises or stressful times. We need to create a sense of safety and dependability, offering support and reassurance when needed.
Focusing on developing others by actively mentor and coach our team members, helping them grow into leaders themselves. It is important to guide our people to reach their potential, ensuring that the success of the team isn’t dependent on just one person.
Identifying potential issues before they escalate and offer solutions. Just like a lighthouse warning ships of danger, we need to guide the team through rough waters.
As a lighthouse leader, I value two key benefits: supporting my team from behind the scenes by providing resources and removing obstacles, and fostering collaboration over competition by emphasizing teamwork. Like a lighthouse’s steady light, I focus on long-term goals, ensuring our team remains aligned with our vision, even amid distractions or challenges.
Balancing the spotlight with being a lighthouse leader is like wearing multiple hats, A little bit of sparkle to lift the team’s spirits and a steady hand to keep things on track. Women often walk this line carefully, leading by example yet stepping up when the team needs an extra boost of energy. When done right, it’s empowering for everyone: showing up to inspire when needed but also being the steady light others look to. Knowing when to shine and when to guide quietly brings out the best in the team, and yourself!
Let’s take the first step:
I’d like to encourage you to not only consider these questions but to engage with your teams in conversations about leadership. This could foster a culture of reflection and growth, paving the way for deeper understanding and development of your own leadership styles:
Are you more of a spotlight leader or a lighthouse leader? How do you think your style impacts your team?
Write down instances where you’ve taken the spotlight and those where you’ve supported from behind. Consider how each situation affected your team’s morale.
How often do you publicly acknowledge your team's contributions? Do you make space for others to shine in your victories?
Commit to recognizing at least one team member’s contribution in your next meeting. Observe the impact this has on team dynamics.
When was the last time you had to guide your team through a challenging situation? How did you approach it?
Prepare a plan for how to lead through future challenges. Consider how you can be a steady light during these times.
How do you empower your team to take ownership of their work? Are there opportunities to delegate more effectively?
Identify a task you typically handle yourself and delegate it to a team member, providing them the autonomy to make decisions.
How do you foster a culture where team members feel safe to propose new ideas or challenge the status quo?
Schedule regular brainstorming sessions where all ideas are welcomed without judgment, and reflect on the quality of ideas generated.
Resources:
The dark side of charisma - Adam Grant conversation with Liz Wiseman, executive coach about how charisma, which is usually seen as a good quality, can lead to problems when it comes from narcissistic people. These individuals may use their charm to manipulate others and create a toxic atmosphere. This podcast inspired me for this post. Hope you enjoy both the podcast and the blog post :)
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