Bounce Back Better: The Fun Side of Resilience

Sit tight, here comes the story:

It had been a while since Lila had met her girlfriends for a night of laughter and deep conversations, a dichotomy that always surfaced when they were together. One minute, they might be discussing deep, personal topics that bring them to tears, and the next, someone would say something that changes the mood, leading to belly laughter.

Lila couldn’t wait to share her news. Even though she was excited about her next move, she felt a heavy weight of disappointment and needed her friends to help her sort through it.

“Hey, girls, I’m so glad we made it tonight. I’ve got news:I quit my job!” Lila started, her voice a mix of excitement and uncertainty. “You know how I haven’t felt challenged or appreciated lately, and then this other company came along with an offer that’s perfect for my career goals. I decided to take a leap of faith.”

Julia jumped in immediately, “That’s amazing, Lila! It sounds like a great opportunity, but are you truly happy with this decision? I sense there’s something you’re not saying.”

Maria and Monica moved closer, hugging Lila, waiting for her to respond to Julia.

“I am happy and excited for what’s next,” Lila admitted, “but I’m also really disappointed in how my manager reacted when I told him I was considering a new offer. He didn’t even try to keep me. That hurt.”

Maria nodded, “I hear you, girl. Speaking of disappointment, I cried so much this week. I realized that all the work, energy, and dedication I’ve put into the company over the years isn’t appreciated anymore. With the new leadership, the company’s direction doesn’t align with my values, and my vision won’t be fulfilled. It’s obvious, I know, the company isn’t mine. But it was hard to accept that reality.”

Monica chimed in, “That’s tough, my friend. And it’s not just in our professional lives. I’ve put so many expectations on my friendship with Olivia, and she keeps letting me down. It’s clear now that her priorities have shifted, and she doesn’t have space in her life for me anymore. It’s hard to accept. We’ve been friends for so long, but I see now that friendship is a two-way street, and I’ve been the one keeping it up while she’s been checked out.”

The night continued with the three women supporting each other, sharing their stories over wine, and laughing at the irony of it all. They had been there for each other through similar situations countless times, and they knew how this story ends: they set expectations on companies and people, and when those expectations aren’t met, they feel disappointed. But if there’s one thing they know well, it’s how to be resilient. They each have an unwavering strength that helps them navigate life’s challenges, bending without breaking, and emerging stronger every time.

Let’s talk about this:

Have you faced situations like Lila and her friends? Disappointments are more present in our lives than we would like to admit. To me they are like an unexpected bump on a street you commute everyday. Just when you think the road ahead is smooth, you hit a bump that throws you off the road. Some are small and barely noticed, while others can throw you, making you lose your course. But just like experienced drivers, we learn to anticipate them, navigate around them, and keep moving forward, knowing that they're an inevitable part of the journey. These bumps, while shocking, also remind us of our ability to recover and continue, much like our resilience.

As Lila and her friends share their stories, what truly unites them isn't just their shared laughter or their mutual disappointments, it is their resilience. Just like them, women in general face moments where we feel undervalued, unseen, or let down, yet we have to find ways to rise above it. The stories above illustrate how women, despite the many challenges we encounter, have an innate strength to bend without breaking. Our ability to support one another, adapt, and keep moving forward is what makes our resilience not just a personal trait but a shared, powerful force that binds us together.

This week I heard 3 stories from different dear friends that really touched me and inspired me to write about resilience. As I reflected on their experiences, I realized that despite their professional disappointments and personal setbacks, they each demonstrated an ability to adapt, grow, and continue forward. This is what resilience in women looks like, it's not just about enduring hardship but transforming it into a source of strength.

Resilience isn't just a personal trait but a collective strength that women share and reinforce in each other. As my friends shared their stories, they brought me along on their journeys. By expressing their frustrations, asking for guidance, or simply using me as a sounding board, we were together reinforcing what resilience looks like in each specific situation. 

Women will continue to face challenges in life, experiencing emotional highs and lows. But when we realize the strength that comes from facing adversity, and find support to navigate these emotions together, we will be more than ok, we will emerge stronger. Resilience will be shared, reinforced and passed along, helping us all endure and grow. As Pink sings in this song - “we are not broken, just bent”. Let’s be bent together, knowing that our resilience and friendship will never let us be broken. 

Let’s take the first step:

• Develop a growth mindset by embracing challenges as opportunities for growth. Shift your focus from setbacks to learning experiences.

• This week, try to adapt to change by being open to new perspectives and willing to adjust your approach when necessary. This will enable you to face future difficulties with a sense of empowerment.

Resources:

Option B - get your Klenex ready, a cup of tea and enjoy this great book from Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. It is a blend of personal narrative with psychological research which provides both inspiration and actionable steps for building resilience.