"The Art of Being Present"

I am always busy. Who isn’t nowadays? Being a working mom with a demanding job, three kids under the age of 9, and a household to manage is no easy feat. My days start early and end late, filled with meetings, school runs, and endless chores. I barely have a moment to myself, and when I do, I feel guilty for not being productive.

I don’t say this fishing for pity or compliments. I am honestly not proud of behaving this way. The other day, my therapist (yes, I’ve discovered the beauty of having a therapist) said, “You need a break. Try doing nothing for a bit.” I just laughed and said, “I wouldn’t even know how!”

The next day, Mateo, my 4-year-old, ran inside all excited because he found a peach in our backyard. It turns out that we have lived in this house for 4 years, and I just realized we have a peach tree. Now, every night he says after dinner: “let’s get some peaches”.

One of those evenings, we were heading back inside, carrying a bowl full of sweet, juicy, red donut peaches and Mateo called my attention to the bougainvillea (picture above) we had thought was dead since we moved it from the front yard to the backyard. Now, it has sprouted beautiful dark pink flowers, which of course, I hadn’t noticed until he asked me to stop and see it.

Sometimes I catch myself observing Mateo living his life, and I am mesmerized by how he finds joy in the moment. He can lay down on the floor and talk to himself or stare at the ceiling for quite some time or play with Legos, and when I ask him what he is building, he says, “I don’t know yet.” It's like the destination (end product) doesn’t matter; what matters is the journey he is on.

Reflecting on these moments with Mateo made me realize how much I have let the busyness of my day-to-day life take away the joy of the small things. Watching him has taught me the importance of being present and enjoying the moment, no matter how small. When was the last time you truly stopped to be present in the moment?

Let’s talk about this:

A colleague at work recommended an app called “Headspace” some time ago. Despite my initial skepticism about meditation and unfamiliarity with mindfulness, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give it a try. They have basic courses that start with 3-minute meditation exercises. At first, I felt awkward. My mind raced with thoughts of laundry, emails, and grocery lists. But gradually, the as I sat outside and felt the warmth of the sun and the gentle rustling of leaves calmed me. For the first time in ages, I felt a wave of relaxation. After 3 minutes, I opened my eyes, feeling lighter and clearer. The world hadn’t fallen apart because I took a moment for myself. In fact, I felt more present and energized.

Did I continue? I did for a few weeks but eventually slipped back into my routine, letting it go like so many other endeavors I’ve started in an attempt to “take care of myself.” During one Headspace session, the “coach” asked a simple yet intriguing question: “What brings you joy?”

Months of reflection led me to realize that my joy comes from the simplest moments: a lingering hug, an unexpected act of kindness, an extra second to admire a view, a flower, or a hummingbird. It’s the laughter of my kids playing together and singing with them enthusiastically (even though we could all benefit from vocal lessons). I discovered that carving out small pockets of time to practice the “art of doing nothing” helps me to be present and pay attention to the small things that refill my energy, making me a better mom and professional.

The "art of doing nothing" is about intentionally taking time to relax, reflect, and be present without engaging in any specific task or activity. For me, “doing nothing” emphasizes the importance of rest and mental rejuvenation in a world that often prioritizes constant productivity and busyness. 

It sounds simple—“just do nothing.” But you might wonder, “Who will take care of my kids, my work deadlines, and my daily demands?” We all have responsibilities, goals, and purposes in life, which make life interesting and worth living. However, with constant stimulation, we’re often distracted from being present, tending to focus on past or future worries. While we still have to manage our daily tasks, being intentional about finding those “recharging moments” allows us to see their benefits, making us seek out more of these moments.

So what are we waiting for? What about starting “NOW”? The present moment will create our future and become part of our past. So why not enjoy it and take a “mental picture” of this moment?

Let’s leave guilt behind and allow ourselves to unwind and de-stress without feeling guilty about being unproductive. We are investing in our well-being, taking a minute to acknowledge and celebrate ourselves. We deserve this, don’t we?

When I feel overwhelmed or stuck, I like to go for a walk. Walking around my neighborhood gives my mind space to wander, leading to creative insights and deeper self-reflection. It’s important to quiet our minds and give mental space for creativity and imagination to play their magic. Solutions we struggled to find often emerge when we stop forcing a response.

In the end, recognizing the value of downtime is essential for our overall well-being and mental health. By acknowledging this, we can take small steps toward practicing the art of doing nothing, finding balance, and giving ourselves permission to rest, rejuvenate, and enjoy moments of peace and stillness. If it increases the joy in our hectic days, why not try it?

What excellence looks like:

• We allow ourselves to not be productive 100% of the time and don’t feel guilty about it.

• We are intentional about being present, living in the moment. Whether it's doing nothing, sharing a good laugh with a friend, or having a good cry after a stressful day, be present!

​​Food for Thought:

"Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment." by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Call for action:

Embrace the moment! Take a deep breath, put away distractions, and fully engage with what's happening around you right now. Be present, whether you're enjoying a quiet moment alone, sharing a laugh with a friend, or simply appreciating the beauty of the world. Start today—make each moment count!.

Resources:

• The science of well being - by Yale University (Coursera)

• Headspace - App for Meditation and Mindfulness exercises