Being a woman is my superpower!

"Sit tight, here comes the story"

Mia, Lila’s good friend, called her to share a situation that happened to her and today she finally brought closure to the topic and wanted to share it with her friend. 

Mia is a talented engineer, but she constantly faces stereotypes in her male-dominated workplace. Despite the challenges, Mia is determined to prove herself and inspire change.

“Lila, you won’t believe what happened in the team meeting today. Remember my colleague, Tom? The one that makes inappropriate comments frequently?”

“Yes! It drives me crazy the stories you tell me about him. When will someone confront him?” Lila says with little patience, anticipating that a new bad story is on the way.

Mia continues: “Several weeks ago he said: ‘Women aren't cut out for engineering. They're too emotional and lack the technical skills’. Can you believe it? In our group of 7 people, 3 of us are women”.

“No way”, Lila responds not believing what she is hearing.

“Oh man, my determination was burning brighter than ever. I said: ‘Is that so, Tom?’ And then calmly, I continued - ‘Well, let me show you what this 'emotional' woman can do’.

With that, Mia embarked on a project to design a revolutionary new technology that would streamline their company's operations. Despite facing skepticism and resistance from her male colleagues, Mia persevered, pouring her passion and expertise into her work.

Months passed, and the day of the project presentation arrived. As Mia stood confidently before the board of directors, she unveiled her innovation with pride. The room buzzed with excitement as Mia explained her vision and the impact it would have on the company.

Mia continues telling Lila: “And here is the best part: Tom, who had doubted me from the start, approached me after the presentation I did for the directors and said: ‘I have to admit, Mia, I underestimated you’. He was sincere. I felt it. He then finished: ‘You've proven that women belong in engineering, and I'm sorry for ever doubting you’. 

“How did you respond?” Lila asked anxiously.

“I smiled graciously, extending my hand to him and said: ‘Apology accepted, Tom. But let's use this as an opportunity to break down barriers and build a more inclusive workplace together’.

“Wow, I am so proud of you”. Lila complimented her. 

Mia’s courage, determination, and unwavering belief in herself has not only shattered stereotypes but has also paved the way for a brighter future for women in engineering. 

Let’s talk about this

Stereotypes about women have been pervasive throughout history and continue to affect women in various spheres of life. I have compiled the main stereotypes I’ve observed about women, excluding those related to beauty and sexuality for the purpose of this post. Let’s take a look and see if you can identify with some of these. Spoiler alert: reading these stereotypes may trigger feelings of anger, a sense of unfairness, and frustration. Hang in there; we will address and transform those feelings in the second part of this post.

Part I: Truth or Lie

• “Women are weak”: Women are often stereotyped as physically and emotionally weaker than men, leading to assumptions about our inability to handle physically demanding tasks or stressful situations.

• “Women are emotional”: Women are overly emotional or irrational, which can undermine our credibility and decision-making abilities, particularly in leadership roles.

• “Women are Caregivers”: Women are frequently expected to fulfill traditional caregiving roles, such as taking care of children and managing household responsibilities, regardless of our personal preferences or career aspirations.

• “Women are submissive and passive”: Women are sometimes portrayed as passive and submissive, especially in romantic relationships or professional settings where assertiveness is valued. 

• “Women are not made for STEM”: In fields like science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM), women face stereotypes suggesting we are less capable or interested in these subjects compared to men, leading to underrepresentation and barriers to advancement.

• “Women are gossipers and chatty”: Women are sometimes stereotyped as being more prone to gossiping or being too chatty, which can undermine our contributions and professionalism in social and professional settings.

• Women have limited career ambitions”: Women may face stereotypes suggesting we are less ambitious or capable of leadership roles compared to men, which can result in barriers to career advancement and unequal opportunities for professional development. Women are also seen as needing to choose between family and career. 

• *Extra - “Women are incompetent drivers”: There's a stereotype that women are less skilled or confident drivers than men, despite evidence showing no significant difference in driving abilities between genders.

How did all of that make you feel? Even for me, who knew where I wanted to go, starting a post like this, researching and writing these stereotypes about women made me feel very frustrated. I caught myself feeling angry that up to these days we still might experience those stereotypes in our day to day, from people close to us. These stereotypes can have harmful consequences, perpetuating gender inequality and limiting our opportunities for personal and professional growth. Needless to say, It's important to challenge and dismantle these stereotypes to create a more inclusive and equitable society. But how do we do that? We turn stereotypes into strengths. It will require a combination of resilience, self-awareness, and strategic thinking. In part II, we will discuss how women can leverage stereotypes to their advantage.

Part II: Being a woman is our superpower!

Once I was in a conference and had the pleasure to watch a speech from a Harvard Professor called Laura Huang. She wrote a book called “Edge” where she demonstrates how individuals can harness their unique experiences, backgrounds, and challenges to stand out in competitive environments. What really stuck with me was that in her book she shows how adversity can be transformed into a catalyst for success.

When a friend recommended that I write about how we can transform women’s stereotypes into strengths, Huang’s book came to mind. Instead of feeling angry when we hear and experience these stereotypes and become actionless, what if we embrace our unique experiences as women to overcome obstacles and thrive in our careers and personal lives? Ok, but again, how do we do that?

Let’s reexamine the stereotypes that women face, this time through the lens of 'Edge.' We will explore the flip side of the coin. Please keep in mind that like any generalization, the following text may not perfectly apply to all women reading this post. The goal is to demonstrate that what may appear as flaws can and should be transformed into strengths.

• “Women are weak”:  Strength comes in various forms and is not limited by gender. Women bring unique strengths to different situations, such as empathy, collaboration, adaptability, and perseverance. We also have better awareness which gives us an advantage in recognizing the areas that we need improvement and have the determination to overcome those. We are good learners. We show humility, excitement and energy when we engage in the process of learning. The journey from ignorance to competence is an exciting one for us. Personal story: I have a friend that went through fertility treatment 16 times until she achieved her dream of becoming a mom. Does that look like a weak woman?

• “Women are emotional”: We all have emotions, the difference is in how we handle our emotions. Women express a wider range of emotions, when compared to men, including empathy and nurturing behaviors. We can sense the emotions of those around us. We hear the unvoiced questions. We anticipate the need. We help people to find the right phrases to express their feelings. We are positive. We are generous with praise, quick to smile, and constantly on the lookout for the positive in situations. We celebrate each achievement. We find ways to make things more exciting and more vital. Be at home, with friends or at work, our emotional awareness and coping strategies (being more collaborative and seeking help) help us to build and maintain meaningful relationships. We care for others! Personal story: I have a female colleague with exceptional listening skills. After noticing prolonged disagreements between me and a male colleague regarding a collaborative project, she proactively brought us together. She listened to our concerns, validated our perspectives, and facilitated a constructive dialogue. By empathizing with us and encouraging open communication, she helped us reach a consensus on a hybrid approach that integrated the best elements from our differing proposals. Does this situation reflect negatively on emotional awareness, or does it highlight its valuable role in fostering understanding and collaboration?

• “Women are submissive and passive”:  most women that I know are high achievers. Every day for them starts at zero and by the end of the day they achieve something tangible (finalize a project at work, complete tasks at home like folding laundry, lead a team meeting, make sure each kid gets to their activities on time, etc). They are determined and focused. They know where they are heading. Personal story: I might be biased by the amount of amazing proactive and assertive women I am surrounded by. There is only one situation that I like to practice positive submissiveness and would love to see more men doing that as well. It happens during brainstorming sessions. When we encourage team members to share their ideas freely, we need to actively listen to their perspectives without dominating the discussion, and ensure that quieter or less assertive team members have a chance to contribute. This approach fosters a collaborative and inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and heard, ultimately leading to more creative and effective solutions. 

• “Women are not made for STEM”: women are activators, we are always asking - “when can we start?”. We have a bias towards action. We also have discipline. We put things in order, we plan ahead, we set up routines, break long term projects into a series of specific short term plans, we take control. There is no field or industry that wouldn’t appreciate and benefit from having these qualities. Personal story: I am not in STEM but in the last 15 years I have worked in the Tech industry and have seen many amazing women in tech that inspired me to explore new worlds. When my husband recommended that I read The worlds I see by Fei-Fei Li, I thought that it would be a “boring/ technical” book about AI but decided to read it because it was written by an immigrant woman. I am so glad I read it, because in addition to teaching me a lot about AI early days, it inspired me to take a first step towards making something meaningful for women (hence this blog). Fei-Fei immigrated to the US from China when she was a teenager and despite the challenges she had to face (poverty, prejudice, illness in the family), she got to become one of the biggest contributors to AI, focusing on human-centered AI. She co-founded the AI4ALL initiative, which aims to increase diversity and inclusion in AI and computer science fields by providing educational opportunities to underrepresented groups, including women and minorities. By reframing her background (immigrant and poor) as a source of strength rather than weakness, Fei-Fei demonstrated how adversity can be transformed into a catalyst for success. Her journey serves as an inspiring example of how women can leverage their personal experiences to achieve extraordinary accomplishments in their professional lives, even if it is in an industry still more male dominated. The resilience and determination we women have, can help us thrive anywhere. The journey might not be easy, but if Fei-Fei got where she dreamed of, why can we?

• “Women are gossipers and chatty”: let me rephrase this: “Women are includers”. We tend to stretch the circle wider, we want to include people and make them part of the group. We may be chatty for the right reasons. We look for connections. We are empathetic. We help bring harmony to our houses and to our teams. We look for areas of agreement, when we know people around us have different views, we try to find a common ground. We listen. We are considerate, caring and accepting. People tell us things because they trust us. We are strategic on what and how we disseminate information that is needed. We have a “six sense”, or a perspective that allows us to see patterns where others simply see complexity. 

• “Women don’t have big career ambitions”: Unfortunately many women still face the stereotype that you can be EITHER a good mom OR a career woman. I say, we don’t need to accept “either/or”, we can be BOTH, good moms AND amazing professionals. A lot of the skills we acquire when we become moms are transferable to our work and vice-versa. Personal story: my 7 year old daughter told me once “Mom, I have some feedback for you: you need to give people a second chance”. A bit of context so you don’t judge me to be an unfair mom - this was after I had told her to brush her teeth for the 10th time and I lost with her. She always tells me that she wants to be a successful vet and have 4 kids (2 boys and 2 girls). When I challenge her to think how hard that could be, she says: “If you can do it with 3, what is one more? Plus, my kids will help me to take care of the animals” - I hope the next generation will grow up knowing that they don’t need to limit their ambitions, in life and professionally. They can have it all. It requires determination(being focused while being flexible), resilience (learning from what didn’t work in the past and adapting) and humility (accepting our opportunities and when we need help).

• “Women can’t drive”: I love Verna Meyer’s story about the time she was on an airplane and felt thrilled to see a female pilot in charge. As an inclusion advocate, witnessing a female pilot filled her heart with pride and happiness. However, when the plane experienced severe turbulence, Verna's first thought was: 'I hope she can handle this.' This experience highlights how biases can be deeply ingrained in our subconscious, surfacing in moments of uncertainty or fear. Personal story: I come from a family of strong women who are excellent drivers. Growing up, I often saw my mom and aunts take the driver's seat confidently. Today, I jokingly tell my husband that I get car sick unless I'm driving, but the truth is, I am a better driver!

I hope the examples in this post showcase women's multifaceted capabilities and strengths. I hope you feel empowered to challenge stereotypes and make people see that being a woman is not our weakness, it is our biggest superpower. We have an endless list of capabilities and skills that can be used to propel us forward. 

Like in Lila’s friend Mia story, Fei-Fei Li and many many other women, they faced challenges, but they ended up making a difference—not just for themselves, but for women everywhere. Instead of being intimidated or discouraged by the stereotypes of women as weaker or less capable, let’s harness determination and perseverance to overcome obstacles and achieve our goals. Let’s use stereotypes as fuel to prove doubters wrong, demonstrate our resilience and pave the way to our daughters and nieces. May our stories inspire others to dream big, defy expectations, and break barriers.

What excellence looks like:

• We don’t let these stereotypes define us. Instead, we turned them into our superpowers!

​​Food for Thought:

• “Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Her words inspire action and challenge the status quo, advocating for a culture that embraces and values the full humanity of women.

Call for action:

• Embrace your individuality and uniqueness, and encourage other women to do the same.

• Identify one thing that is holding you back and use it as motivation to excel in whatever you want to do. This will help you to unlock your full potential.

• Reframe stereotypes as strengths and opportunities for growth, that way we can empower ourselves and others to break barriers, challenge norms, and create a more inclusive and equitable society.

Resources:

• Strengths finder - this book offers a test that helps you to identify and leverage your strengths which helps you to foster self-awareness, and build effective teams and organizations.

• Edge - turning adversity into advantage - explores how individuals can leverage their unique qualities and experiences, often seen as disadvantages or obstacles, to create competitive advantages and achieve success. 

• The worlds I see - Fei Fei’s book covers topics such as AI's potential impact on society, the importance of ethical AI development, advancements in computer vision technologies, and strategies for fostering diversity and inclusion in AI research and applications. 

• Never Have I Ever - the character named Fabiola faces challenges as she tries to navigate the worlds of STEM