Plan A to Plan Z: Life Choices

                    Audio Only

"Sit tight, here comes the story"

Lila had finally had the opportunity to get together with her life time friends Julia, Maria and Monica, for a night of deep conversations and good laughs. They sat around the couch sipping wine and sharing stories.

"So, what's new with everyone?" Lila asked, leaning forward with interest.

Julia giggles nervously while saying: "Well, I finally decided to quit my job and pursue my passion for photography full-time."

"Wow, that's amazing!" exclaimed Maria. "But aren't you scared? It's a big risk."

Julia nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, it is. But I realized life's too short to spend it doing something that doesn't make me happy."

Monica blurts out: "I wish I had your courage. I've been thinking about leaving my job too, it got to the point that I am not living my values with the decision I’ve had to make lately, but I don't know what else I would do."

Julia placed a reassuring hand on Monica's arm. "It's okay to feel uncertain. Maybe it's time to explore what truly makes you happy."

Monica smiles gratefully. "Thanks, Julia. I think you're right."

Across the table, Maria clears her throat, drawing everyone's attention. "Speaking of uncertainty, I've been thinking about getting pregnant."

Lila gasps, her eyes widening. "Seriously? The career-oriented girl wants to be a mom. That's huge!"

"Yeah, it is," admitted Maria, running a hand through her hair nervously. "But I feel that even though I feel successful with my career, I don’t feel fulfilled. I am sure motherhood will be the hardest project I will ever lead, but I am ready for it."

Lila smiles because she knows exactly what Maria means. She gives Maria a big hug and says: “You will be an amazing mom. Life's all about making hard decisions, right?"

As the conversation continued late into the night, Lila and her friends laughed, shared advice, and offered support to one another. In that moment, they realized that life was full of tough decisions and uncertain paths, but with friends by their side, they knew they could face whatever the future held.

Let's talk about this:

I wonder where Lila’s friends will be in a few years with the life choices that are being made now: will Maria feel fulfilled and happy while balancing career and children? Will Julia be able to support her family financially, as a photographer or will she regret her decision of quitting her job? Will Monica find what truly makes her happy professionally? 

The conversation among Lila’s friends is something that we see in our own circle of friends and family and even in ourselves. 

Have you ever contemplated the thoughts and questions below?

• “My life is not what I had planned.”

• “My dream of being a mom didn’t happen.”

• “I always wanted to be a singer, not a sales rep.”

• “I regret not having said yes to that job offer.”

• “I love my kids but I miss being a kick-butt attorney.”

Have you ever looked back and wished things had been different?

When we think about our personal experiences and choices we made in life, like career decisions, relationships, or other significant life events, it makes us feel nostalgic, regretful, and sometimes curious about alternate paths that we didn’t take and roads that we didn’t travel. 

Oftentimes, we get very frustrated with the decisions we make because the gratification may be delayed and we are not patient enough to persevere. Sometimes, we keep pushing for something that it was not meant to be ours and we feel disappointed. There is nothing we can do with the past, but there is a lot to be done in the present and to prepare for the future.

What is the plan for your life? Do you have one? Do we need to have one?

There is no right or wrong when it comes to having or not having a plan for your life. You for sure have dreams and goals you want to achieve, but not necessarily, you have a clear path on how to get there. I think that life's like a potluck feast: some people jump in without a recipe (“Who needs plans anyway?”), others are like chefs with spreadsheets (“My life's a gourmet production!”), and then you've got the folks who mix it up, adding a pinch of “Let's wing it!” to their carefully curated dishes (“Perfect Plan A didn’t work, let’s go with Plan YOLO! - You only live once”).

One of the most valuable lesson I had in life (and surprisingly, it came from work experiences) is that it is important to have a plan, but even more crucial is to have the flexibility and willingness to innovate and adapt when Plan A doesn’t work. Instead of getting stuck in the feelings of frustration, anger, and disappointment, we accept that sometimes we need to take a step back, to move forward. We have to develop a superior willpower that will feed our determination and resilience to either start over, or continue pursuing our goals but now possibly, with a different route. If you want a different result, you need to change the way you did it before. 

Have you ever considered how your current choices align with your long-term goals and aspirations? Are there any adjustments you'd like to make to ensure you're on the path to where you want to be? Asking yourself these types of questions will prompt a forward-thinking mindset that focuses on growth, self-awareness, and proactive decision-making for the future.

What news are you going to share with your friends next time you meet them?

How excellence looks like:

1. You know your values - what is important to you in life - because they will help guide your decision-making process.

2. When you need to make a decision, gather as much information as possible and weigh the pros and cons.

3. You trust your instincts - sometimes we think too rationally and we disregard our gut feeling - the voice that is telling you whether or not you should do something.

4. You practice flexibility - adapt and adjust as needed. 

5. Most importantly: You practice self-compassion - remember that making decisions is a learning process, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you're doing the best you can with the information and resources available to you.

Food for Thought:

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." by Dr. Seuss

This quote gives us the idea that while life's decisions may seem complex, often the best solutions are straightforward and intuitive. It encourages us to trust our instincts and simplify our approach to decision-making.

Call for action:

• Looking ahead, do you ever wonder about the potential outcomes of different decisions you could make? 

• How can you leverage your past experiences to shape a future that aligns with your values and ambitions?

Resources:

Atlas of the Heart - Brene Brown - Book Chapter: “Places we go when things don’t go as planned”.