Go Big on What Truly Matters Right Now!

Sit tight, here comes the story:

“My work is destroying my relationships!” That’s how Julia, Lila’s friend, greeted her when Lila answered the phone.

It wasn’t the first time a friend had shared this concern with Lila. Many of them had gone through phases where they felt pulled in so many directions that, unless they were willing to put their careers on the back burner, they ended up sacrificing their relationships, with spouses, children, parents, siblings, and friends.

Lila thought of all the things she could say, all the advice she herself had received in the past about similar struggles, but none of it felt right at that moment. So she just listened.

“The long hours at the office, the travel, the constant pressure to deliver, it’s all been too much. I can handle the work, but being so absent from home is taking a toll on my husband. His work life isn’t easy either, and it’s just not fair to him.” Julia went on, sharing example after example of how hard things had been.

Lila empathized deeply, she knew that feeling all too well. She validated Julia’s emotions and finally asked, gently: “What’s important for you right now?”

The question caught Julia off guard. Of course her family was important. But if she was being honest, the project she needed to deliver was also hugely important, it could determine her chances for a promotion.

Julia changed the subject, and after a bit more chatting, they hung up. But the question lingered, leaving Lila pondering it for herself too.

A few days later, Julia called Lila again. Her tone was calmer, more centered. “I’ve been thinking about your question,” she said. “What’s important right now? I still don’t have all the answers, but I asked for help on the project and talked to my husband. We agreed on a few small changes, for now. It’s not perfect, but I already feel more present.”

Lila smiled. The clarity hadn’t come from advice. It had come from a pause, and the courage to ask the right question.

Let’s talk about this:

Are You Going Big on the Right Things?

It’s so easy to get swallowed up by the busyness of everyday life. Our to-do lists are endless. We feel overworked and, oddly enough, underutilized. We’re always busy, but are we actually productive?

It’s hard to know what truly matters when we don’t have clarity on what’s important right now. I say right now because our priorities shift throughout life. That’s why it’s important to regularly check in with ourselves and recalibrate.

At work, I often ask myself, and encourage others to ask too: Where and how can I have the highest positive contribution?

Sometimes, it’s as simple as cleaning up our calendar by asking: “Do I really need to be in that meeting? Will I contribute anything?”

By developing the discipline to eliminate what’s non-essential and removing friction from what is, we slowly make space for what truly matters.

The same principle applies to life.

If we want to feel in control, we need to focus on the right thing, for the right reason, at the right time.

If we keep saying yes to everything right now, cleaning the house, volunteering at school, playing Monopoly, taking the kids to soccer, finishing a critical work project, just to earn the supermom, super employee, super partner badge, we’ll burn out. And instead of joy, we’ll feel deep frustration.

Last week, I finished Essentialism by Greg McKeown, and it changed how I think. It helped me identify the trivial many and focus on the vital few. Most importantly, it helped me invest in my power to choose and be OK with trade-offs.

He uses an expression: “Less but better.”

It invites us to ask: What can I go big on?

But there’s a catch: if you go big on one thing, you must let go of another.

At work, this means choosing projects where I can make the greatest impact. If there is not a clear yes on something, then it’s a clear no.

In life, my vital few right now are my kids and my relationship with my husband. Going big means being fully present, enjoying our time together, laughing, talking, and making memories.

What about you? What are the vital few you want to go big on right now?

Don’t be afraid to uncommit either. Sometimes we stay stuck in things that no longer fulfill us, just because we’ve already invested time, energy, or money. If that’s the case, ask yourself: “What else could I do with this time (or money) if I pulled the plug now?”

Going big also requires setting boundaries. For example, I’ve set a clear expectation with my peers: unless I’m essential to a hiring panel (and I’ve defined what essential means), I won’t join. This has saved me so much time, now people barely ask.

With family and friends, it’s harder. I want to be available. But I’ve created a small rule for myself: if I’m focused on something important, I’ll wait until I’m done before replying to messages. That pause has helped more than I expected.

A few years ago, I set a New Year’s resolution: “Be more present.”

It’s a daily challenge.

How can I be present in a meeting if Slack won’t stop pinging?

How can I be present with my kids if dinner’s not cooking itself?

How can I be present with a friend if the kids keep interrupting?

The only way I’ve found is to pause and ask: What’s important right now? And then just enjoy that moment. When I do, I feel in flow. I feel like I’m living a life that truly matters.

If you’re feeling like your work, or anything else, is destroying your relationships, maybe it’s time to ask: What’s truly worth going big on?

Are you ready to go big on a few vital things, and let go of the rest?

Head, Heart and Hands Strategy - A Practical Framework for applying “Less but bigger” mindset

🤯Head Strategy - Awareness & Understanding

Key question: What do I need to understand to move forward?

• Understand that busyness is not the same as productivity.

• Recognize that I have the power to choose how and where to invest your energy.

• Acknowledge that saying yes to everything means saying no to something, often, the things that matter most.

• Learn the concept of trade-offs: Less but better.

💗Heart Strategy - Emotion & Intention

Key question: What matters most to me right now?

• Feel the emotional toll of being stretched thin, and use that discomfort to inspire change.

• Connect with my values - whatever they are: family, impact, presence, peace of mind.

• Set the intention to go big on what’s truly important to me, not what makes me look good to others.

• Embrace the joy of being fully present, with my work, loved ones, and myself.

🤲Hands Strategy - Action & Practice

Key question: What will I do differently starting now?

• Audit my calendar: Eliminate non-essential meetings or tasks.

• Set personal rules or “pre-boundaries” (e.g., no Slack during focused work, delayed message replies while being present, no work stuff during the weekend, etc).

• Practice saying a clear no to make space for a clear yes.

• Revisit your priorities regularly, ask: What’s the most important thing for me right now?

• Use “vital few” as a filter when making new commitments.