Gratitude: The Secret Sauce for a Happier Me"

Sit tight, here comes the story:

Exactly 26 years ago, it was one of the happiest days of my life: my 18th birthday. It felt like I had waited an eternity for that moment. In Brazil, you can only obtain a driver’s license once you turn 18, and that was my most desired goal at the time. I can still vividly recall the sheer joy in my heart as I reflect on that special day. I began with my first driver’s class in the morning and capped it off with a grand celebration that evening. Surrounded by loved ones, we danced, laughed, and sang into the night, marking not just my milestone of turning 18, but a day brimming with unforgettable memories.

I felt happy. I had so many dreams, so many plans.There was hope and excitement, like a vibrant kaleidoscope of emotions and sensations: a sense of eager anticipation for the future, like standing at the threshold of a new adventure with endless possibilities stretching out ahead. I felt a surge of electric energy coursing through my veins, fueling dreams and ambitions with a palpable sense of potential and optimism. It was like anything was possible, a genuine excitement about exploring new experiences, meeting new people, and discovering my place in the world. During my party, I felt moments of pure joy and happiness. I don’t know if it was because I was achieving a milestone, embarking on a new journey, or simply because I was relishing the freedom and independence that came with being 18.

Fast-forward 26 years, today marks another special day: my birthday. Unlike my extravagant 18th celebration, today was a quieter affair—a simple yet profoundly meaningful day. I indulged in the things I cherish most: I worked, treated my kids to ice cream, shared dinner with my parents, savored (okay, a bottle of) red wine with my husband, and relished in laughter with my children. Amidst it all, tears filled my eyes as I read the heartfelt, beautiful messages of love from friends, family, and colleagues. Today wasn't about grand gestures, but about cherishing the everyday moments that fill my heart with joy and gratitude.

I felt happy. It was a sense of deep satisfaction and appreciation for life's blessings. Like a gentle wave of peace washing over me, settling deep within my soul. I felt completely at ease with where I am in life, cherishing the present moment. I felt appreciation. As I saw the sun setting today and turning the world around me orange, there was a warm glow in my heart as I reflected on the people, experiences, and opportunities that have enriched my life. Each memory and connection feels like a precious gift. And then, a new feeling showed up: Gratitude - my heart overflowed with gratitude, like a fountain that cannot be contained. I felt thankful for both the big milestones and the small everyday blessings that have been making my life meaningful.

As midnight draws near and I bid farewell to another birthday, I take a moment to reflect on the winding path that has brought me here. The challenges have been plentiful, and the victories hard-earned. Yet, among it all, I am not overwhelmed by bitterness, but by a deep sense of gratitude.

I think of my children, brimming with energy and joy, carving their own paths in the world. Each laugh, each tear, has shaped me as much as I have shaped them. My career, a journey of dedication and growth, has allowed me to touch lives in ways I never imagined.

Today, as kindness and love poured in from others, I cherish these moments with a profound awareness of their preciousness. I savor this time simply for being alive, fully present and appreciative of the here and now. Gratitude isn't merely about counting blessings; it's about embracing life's richness, with all its twists and turns. It's about discovering beauty in the ordinary, strength in adversity, and hope in the darkest of moments.

Let’s talk about this:

Have you ever experienced “quiet joy”? it's a serene happiness that radiates from within, not loud or exuberant, but steady and reassuring. Those moments that you find joy in the simplest of things — a shared smile, a quiet evening, or a moment of solitude.

A few weeks ago, I got some terrible news: I lost a colleague from work, someone that touched my career in ways I will never have the chance to tell him. It was sudden, unexpected and sad. As I thought about what my post was going to be about this week, I thought of him. While receiving this sad news initially evoked negative emotions, it ultimately catalyzed a profound sense of gratitude for me. How grateful I am for the guidance, advice, feedback he gave me over the years. 

This terrible situation highlighted for me life's preciousness, a reminder of life's fragility and unpredictability.  It prompted me to reflect on the positive aspects of my life, such as my health, my loved ones, the opportunities I may have taken for granted. This reflection gave me a deeper appreciation for these blessings. 

We all know that practicing gratitude has several important benefits for our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being, so why don't we do it more often?

“I am too stressed” -  when we are stressed, we feel overwhelmed, tired, exhausted. It is very easy to focus on our negative emotions, that internal chatter that drives us nuts and puts us on an infinite loop of negativity. The antidote for that is to practice gratitude, because it can reduce stress, anxiety, and even depression. It encourages a positive mindset and resilience in the face of challenges. It can help us focus on what we have rather than what we lack, fostering feelings of contentment, happiness, and satisfaction with life.

“I don’t have time to show my gratitude towards others, I am too busy” - sometimes life gets busy indeed, and we feel so swamped that it's hard to keep up. But showing gratitude doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It's about the little things, the moments when we stop and acknowledge someone's effort or kindness. Expressing gratitude towards others strengthens relationships and fosters a sense of connection. It builds trust, enhances communication, and encourages reciprocity.

“I know my partner/ friend will always be there for me” - sometimes we take things for granted. If you have a partner or a friend who always listens attentively, supports you through thick and thin, and consistently shows affection. Over time, you become accustomed to your partner's presence and support. You may start taking your partner's love and care for granted, assuming it will always be there without expressing appreciation or reciprocating the same level of emotional support. Human beings have a tendency to adapt quickly to positive circumstances or possessions, leading to a diminished sense of appreciation over time. This can make it easy to overlook the blessings and privileges in one's life.

“We will finish our game, but  just need to check my phone very quickly” - Gratitude often requires being present in the moment and mindful of our surroundings and experiences. In a fast-paced world filled with distractions, filled with numerous responsibilities, distractions, and stimuli, we may find ourselves constantly busy, which can make it challenging to pause and reflect on moments of gratitude. Gratitude encourages us to be more mindful of the present moment and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. It helps us shift our focus from worries about the future or regrets about the past.

Over the years, I've embraced the practice of gratitude in both subtle and profound ways. This mindset has been transformative, allowing me to gain valuable perspective. Often, in the pursuit of a deep desire, it's easy to overlook the achievements and blessings we've already attained. Reflecting on what I have encourages me to celebrate these milestones and recognize their significance. Perhaps what we possess already holds more meaning and satisfaction than the elusive goals we crave for so intensely.

So, as I continue on this journey of gratitude and appreciation of quiet joy, I strive to remain present in each moment, mindful of life's blessings, and appreciative of the people who enrich my life. For in embracing gratitude, I discover that true fulfillment lies not in what I seek, but in what I already have and hold dear. What about you?

What excellence looks like:

• Consistency: we regularly set aside time to reflect on specific aspects of our lives or moments that we appreciate. 
• Authenticity and Specificity: we focus on genuine feelings of gratitude rather than generic statements. We are specific about what we're thankful for, whether it's relationships, experiences, personal qualities, or moments of joy.
• Expression and Action: we express gratitude not only through personal reflection but also through verbal or written appreciation to others. We let gratitude inspire actions such as acts of kindness or gestures that reflect your appreciation for the positive influences in your life.

​​Food for Thought:

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust

Call for action:

Join the gratitude revolution! Start today by sprinkling kindness, sharing smiles, and spreading gratitude like confetti. Let's make every day a celebration of the little joys that make life extraordinary!

Resources:

Pay It Forward - Trailer - This film explores themes of empathy, compassion, and the ripple effects of gratitude and kindness in unexpected ways. It underscores the power of gratitude in fostering connections and inspiring positive change in the world.